The Five Love Languages: An Absolute Must!

About two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to travel to Hartford, Connecticut with my best friend Sara. So many people were saying "You must be so excited to see your boyfriend again!", but to their surprise I did not show too much excitement. I wasn't sure why at that point but God revealed a lot to me during that trip. For the past two months, both my boyfriend and I have been busier than every with the final months of school approaching for the both of us. He's doing his P.H.D. (DMA program) and I'm completing my master's degree in Education. We work, we go to school and we have other important responsibilities. September and October have been rough months for our communication. I noticed that I started feeling distant from him, especially during October. You see, my love language is "words of affirmation". I have to hear words and say words in order to feel loved and connected to people. I especially need words from those I love. It helps me feel closer to them, the more we communicate. It's not easy having a long distance relationship and to make these work, communication is KEY. I think we both forgot and did not prioritize it enough because the effects started taking place like a time bomb that was waiting to explode on the day I arrived to Hartford. The first two days I felt like I was dating a stranger. It's hard to explain why, especially since our first year was approaching at the end of that weekend. He took notice easily when I would barely hold his hands and when I felt easily frustrated at any little "mistake" he made. I was so selfish. Little did I notice all of the wonderful things he was doing (that he carefully planned) in order to make me feel special during my time there. I was taking him for granted. I realized this when we sat down and had a heart to heart talk. We both became real and vulnerable. What I learned in that conversation was priceless and I know will help us throughout our relationship from here on out. God revealed to me that much of what I was feeling was driven by fear and insecurities. It always boils down to trusting God. If we don't trust God, how can we trust each other? It's impossible. Evil lurks in every corner and creeps into our relationships when we get so consumed with ourselves. Half way through our conversation we both started feeling very close again and reconnected in a way we had never done. I felt like this was a huge step in our relationship. We grew and we both hope to continue to grow. Bumps along the road are normal. It's how we handle our driving while we go through those bumps that will determine if we'll make it home safely. Isn't that what this life is all about anyway? We are here to walk with God so that we can one day meet him and spend the rest of eternity with Him-right where we belong.
My boyfriend and I are doing better than ever now. We know it won't be easy and that we will have more bumps along the way. We also know that God is on our side and will never abandon us (Deuteronomy 1:8: "I will never leave you or forsake you"). As far as relationships, we must always make sure we are speaking each others love language. His is physical touch and quality time. That weekend after our talk, I made sure his love tank was full with lots of hugs and tenderness and with my undivided attention. He made sure to have more deep (and also fun loving) conversations. He made me feel so special. I am truly blessed and thankful to God for this relationship.